YOUR GIFT
Your gifts to me...there are so many...
Are the gift of time and place we shared as the Marvelous couple
we are...
I came to you...I left a life...
Most selfish thing I’ve ever done...
I left some wounds...and hurt behind...but by some miracle... We all
became ‘one’...
A ‘blended us...I’m glad to say... Taking the
place...of original dismay...
The ups...the downs...the love...the joys...and here we are... So
thrilled...to have the life we live...the love of love...
The love we loved...
You taught us all so many things...the wonders...life has in store... You made
me ‘ravenous’
‘Ravenous’ for more...and more...
You gave me everything you are...every thought you thought!... All the
wonders of your mind and soul...you gave to me...
Love with love...more Than
love...
You teach us how to live... You
teach us how to die... You leave us
on a ‘HIGH!’
Your heart still beats...I breathe...your breath...
You breath your life into me...and that is where you’ll stay... YOU
ARE ALL AND EVERYTHING...
YOU’LL BE WITH ME...
EVERYDAY...
APOLOGIES
You kiss my tears...my eyes and ears...and you apologize in advance... For
when you will no longer be here to taste my tears of love...
You make this Heathen...believe...you’ll be watching from above... Our time
grows short...as we bask...in each other’s senses...
The melodic sequence of your gaze...
You want to imprint my face upon your soul and take me with you... Wherever
you go...
Conjoined at the soul... Just take
me home...
BARGAINING
Mephistopheles rejected me...‘it’s not a bargain that I make’... Ask the
other fellow...the one upstairs...the ‘real old fake!’...
Is there no one you can count on...when you’re in this kind of pinch... So I
gathered myself together...as I begged and cajoled...
Just this side of ‘blasphemous’... Yet
humble...sounding clever... Like apple pie à la mode...
The ‘OLD GUY’...seemed to listen...but wouldn’t budge an inch... Thought
I’d take it from the top again in case he missed the gist... I wasn’t asking
for the world...I wasn’t asking for much...
All I wanted was a little more...of what I love the most... What’s a
little ‘TIME’ to you...you’re busier than ‘HELL’ I thought I made it
crystal clear...but maybe I had not
I was a perfect Bargainer...I learned it over time... So now
I’ll just have to...sweeten the pot...
Take my ‘jewels’...and worldly goods...and give me some more ‘TIME’!
The time I seek...is selfish time...my Prince...my life my love’s...
Not well...
Do this for me...and you will see...
A very different Emily...!
I will sing your praises and everyone will praise the praises...
The...praises of the LORD...
If not...I guess...I will remain...a ‘Christopher Hitchens’ acolyte... A Non-
Believer...in the Deceiver...
We are nothing...without each other...you need me don’t you see...? You are
‘NOTHING WITHOUT ME!’
‘YOU NEED ME’... ‘JUST
TO BE’!
NOT READY
Not ready to ‘START’ missing you... Not
ready to ‘BE’ missing you
Not ready for an empty bed... Not
ready for the ‘SILENCE’ No response to
what I said...
Not ready for empty arms...when I ‘LIVE’ for your embrace... Not
ready for the emptiness a quiet house presents...
Not ready for the loneliness...my scared heart resents... Not
ready for ‘Widow Weeds’...and all that it portends
We taught each other how to ‘live’ through everything we know... And now
you are preparing me...for the time when you will go... You leave me so
full of us...the glory and the joy
No matter what...you’ll always be...my very favorite boy... You had me
in the prime of youth...my body and my soul... And yet it was my
‘roaring mind’...you said that you adored...
In all the time...immense...we spent...not once...were we EVER...bored... ‘BORING’...is a
sin...I said...
A place we’ve never been... You so complete me...I pray... Life...does not
deplete me
Sophomoric prose...don’t think...it’s so beneath me...
A LIFE WELL LIVED
Have I told you yet this morning how much I love you? You can
spend time!
You can waste time!
You can save time! And you can buy time!
You can do NOTHING at all...one day...have you WASTED time... Or
ENJOYED time...?
‘TIME FLIES!’
‘SO DO GINGER PIGS!’
‘WE BOUGHT NINE YEARS...A SMIDGEN OF TIME’...
WITH A PROMISE AND A PRAYER TO ‘LIVE IN THE NOW! NOW! NOW!’ We
‘WON! WON! WON!’
We sprinkled our memories...between the
‘PHYLLO’ of time...and relive them...with instant recall...
And technicolor...and the scent of the season and the moment! ERBITUX!
BRAVO!
You gave us the only thing we ever wanted more of... The only
thing that ever mattered to us...TIME PLAYFUL TIME...
PLAYFUL TIME...
EXQUISITE TO BE ALIVE TIME...
EXCRUCIATINGLY WONDROUS TIME! TIME
THAT MEANS EVERYTHING TIME! TIME TO
REDISCOVER!
TIME TO RECONSIDER! TIME
TO OUROBOROS! TIME TO SISYPHUS!
TIME TO KISS!
HEROIC MODEST YOU
So accomplished...yet so humble...self-effacing...
Always retreating from the reality of your accomplishments... So many
hearts beat...because of your skill and intellect...
Even some that should not be beating...LOL When
asked what you had done...
Your reply would always be the same... ‘I worked
in medical research’...
There are men...of few words...
You...were a man of ‘FEWER’
You were my...‘BLABBER MOUTH!’
Honor...after honor...you never cared to share...
Revolutionary...
Evolutionary...
You said your ‘UNIVERSE’ Would
end...when you left ‘WRONG FOR
ONCE!’
You and I...we are living in it...you and I...
The ‘UNIVERSE’ we constructed together...is that cloud of
‘MATTER’...where everything lives...on the molecular level... Where
everything is happening...at the same time...
‘ALL THE TIME!’ I feel the flame of you...
Alive...deep within me...
The universe...where nothing ever dies... Where
we ‘COLLIDE AND CONGRUE’ WE...ARE
MATTER...
WE MATTER!
Have I told you yet this morning how much I love you?
IS
My sweet Alan,
Keeping hope alive...love rules!...you are every beat of my heart...
The air that I breathe...the fire that consumes me...
And resurrects me...I love the pace of us...the grace of us...
Our family crest...the look I live for!...the strength you give me...We just
do it...together...for each other...always…
This is us...!
RENAISSANCE
Romping through the Renaissance of us...so much time...so much us! ‘Oh the
things you can think!’...‘oh the thinks you can think’!
The ‘SEUSS’ BEGINNER...
Who will be left to marvel at me and hang on each ‘touche’ of words... The
geometry and color of words we would play...
Weave a tapestry so rich so vast...
Samite...for which
‘GOBELIN’ would gladly pay...
In our jousting and endeavor very heated we would be...
‘Tit for Tat’ it was “delicious!” froth of elegance for none to see... Froth of
elegance...just for you and me
No excuses would we make for the folly of our fun...for the folly of our fun... Sooner
or later there would always be a...pun...
As insufferable as a French lad of 21...
As intolerable any French Young man of 21...
This Up-MANSHIP was quite the fun... Our ‘Kiss
Me Kate’...had a good run!
Have I told you yet this morning how much I love you?
WE ARE SUCH STUFF
You came to me last night...you were my angel...I thought...
You read my need...and turned into the other...the ‘SEDUCTIVE INCUBUS’! Floating over
me...
Tantalizing me...
Wetting your finger...
Touching my nipple erect with it...
My nose started to run...you always made my nose run... The weight
of you on top of me...I feel so safe...
Is this a dream...
You give me your mouth...I taste you... Is this a
dream...
I wake up feeling whole...and yummy...
What’s left of my ‘PUBES’...is
‘CRUNCHY’!
Was this a dream...
I’ll welcome you again tonight...
Have I told you yet this morning how much I love you?
BIRTH
Somehow we seem to always give birth to each other... Each
morning...miraculous and mystifying...
The night is for dreams and stardust...
And ‘Punnet Square’ of us...hurtling through the dark...
There we are at daybreak...combined and new...and ready for another Gift of
day...we begin again...hoping for another gift of the morrow... ‘Sisyphean’ effort
and task...
Have I told you yet this morning how much I love you? Never
gets old!
We are the ‘birthers’ of our stupid cancers… Illiterate
when it comes to ‘symbiosis’
They kill us...their hosts...
And they are no more...and we are no more...
Have I told you today how much I love you?
A HALF-CENTURY OF US!
50 years ago...we read ‘LE PETIT PRINCE’ together...in French...
I was the prince...and you were the pilot...
We had constant role reversal...teaching and instructing each other... Learning from
each other the great lessons of that slender book...
They were simple lessons... But the
most important...
My heart would quiver when I heard the key in the door... Because I
knew when you were coming and expected
you... I always expected you...on Monday...and dreaded Friday... Oh...the flights our...fancy
minds would take
Like a fancy ‘Cirque du Soleil’ act, we would amaze the audience... Of two...
Ourselves...with the agility and bliss of our mental acrobatics... We would
delight
Ourselves with the ‘deliciousness’ and ‘extravagance’ and
‘Pellucidity’...of our vocabulary...we didn’t eat for days... Seemed
we survived on the perfume of each other...
And words...words...words...
You compliment me on my ‘mnemonics’...
You tell me ‘you’ve never met anyone like me!’ I tell you
‘I’ve never met anyone like you!’
We begin...
THE OTHER WOMAN
“THE OTHER WOMAN”...
Was my claim to fame...
Our trysts were always wondrous... Nothing
was ever quite the same We feasted...
We played...
We came up for... ‘AIR’
In between...
We were not amused But
addicted to...
‘The Watergate Kerfuffle’... Nothing was
ever quite the same... I hardly thought...
I was causing anyone any pain... There we
were...
On the merry-go-round of life... Changing
horses...
Changing faces...
What did we really gain...
Unexpectedly...
It came...
That ‘LIGHTNING BOLT’...
‘TONNERRE DE BREST’...
And I was cooked...
Just the same...
BASTA
Too much of everything...is what we had...
Everyone thought...‘hey’...
That’s not so bad!
When we decided to eschew it all...is when we really... Started
having...a ball!
Beautiful baubles and art...removed from our house Hard to
believe...a junkie and thief could be such a louse...
Then we decided...what’s all the fuss...let’s just...focus on us...
Enmeshed in each other...
Entwined at the heart... Possessed
by possessions Didn’t seem very
smart...
Let’s just learn how...to live in the now...feast on our blessings... Our
brains are our opulence...and need no defense...
You’re in your 10th decade...an accomplishment in itself...
A real ‘silent hero’...your gift to the world...is...no heart has to skip a beat... Because
of your ‘know how’...now it’s time for a big bow...!
Have I told you yet this morning how much I love you?
US AGAIN
I RECALL OUR EXCLAIMING:
“Stop the world, we want to get off!”
We somehow managed it, 50 years ago...
We cocooned ourselves in ourselves, and minds in our own adventures... In our
own studious undertakings...exiling the world...
Holding court with only the two of us What a
wondrous life...
Our flights of fancy...
Standing everything on its ear...our existentialism... Our
exploration of what it means to be in this world...
I stand here before you in all my nakedness and nerdiness...
Stripped of all the ‘stuff’ and ‘bullshit’ of the world...
Here at the temple of my worship...
Grateful for the ‘AGAIN’ of another morning of ‘US’!
Have I told you yet this morning how much I love you?
MONOGAMOUS MURMURATION
Have I told you yet this morning how much I love you? We are
here!
Here we are!
Who has the good fortune to be lovers and equals...
With the freedom and abandon of no tethers to anyone... But each
other!
Such luxury!
The luxury of our youth... The
shamelessness of it all...
Seeing through each other’s eyes... The
glistening of our skin...
Always begging for more! The
‘MURMURATION’ of us!
We are each other’s ‘STARLINGS’ in our flight...and ‘MONOGAMY’
Ah! Did you know that Starlings are monogamous Such
luxury!
No responsibility to anything or anyone but ourselves... And our
‘GRAND ROMANCE’
‘FOREPLAY!’
‘MINDPLAY!’
‘WORDPLAY!’
‘VIVISECTION!’
‘EXHAUSTION!’ ‘QUIET
TIME!’ ‘DREAMING!’
SHADES OF SILVER GREY
They come… one by one... Those
random ‘Silver’ Beauties…
They terrorize…mostly everyone....
Small fortunes are spent...To ‘dye’ them out of existence...
To hide from the fact
You are no longer...a young “thing”...
In denial of your progression...
Evolution...
Solution...
Every day another one… And another one… And another two and three… Think I’ll
let them be…
My new ‘Crowning Glory’...
I come by it honestly…
I earned every single one of my silver beauties… My
‘Pewter Badge’ of Courage...
Suddenly… I am in sync...I am in fashion...
Who would have ever thought… The young would adopt
‘Grey’...as a fashion statement...
As being chic and trendy… Just my
luck…
The different shades of silver and gray… Have enriched me so…
Beyond fashion and trend…
They are witness to my unfurling...and reaching for the enlightenment...
That only time...can confer...
Each silver gray...
Another strand toward The glory
of silver gray…
Another step… Toward perfection...
Toward the evolution… Of being your lady… Silver
gray… It is
And another day in paradise with you…
Have I told you yet this morning how much I love you…